THE lights in the Oval Office at the White House are dimmed. Two men - President Donald Trump and his sycophantic sidekick, JD Vance - are speaking in hushed tones as they plot the ambush of their next victim.
They're still smirking like schoolboy bullies at the hatchet job they did on Ukraine's president, Volodymyr Zelensky, who they believe had to be taught a lesson for refusing to toe the line and say "baie dankie".
As they surreptitiously rehearse their lines and agree on their respective cues for the next execution, it's quite clear they're in for the kill. There will be no mercy for the next guest about to make his entrance. He will be bullied, berated and threatened until he submits to their demands.
Surrender or be left to rot in oblivion. Then the lights come on and the new guest is ushered in - like a lamb to the slaughter. Surprise, surprise. Don't adjust your sets. It's none other than our very own head honcho, President Cyril Ramaphosa.
Now, if you think that's an improbable scenario, think again. South Africa is clearly in Trump's cross hairs. Thanks to a campaign of misinformation, the US president claims the SA government is oppressing minority groups like the Afrikaaners and expropriating their properties without compensation.
He didn't take kindly to us taking up the Palestinian cause with the International Court of Justice; he thinks we're too pally-pally with Russia and openly criticises South Africa for its stance on Taiwan.
Hence Trump's petty and vindictive cuts to US aid to SA.
Now comes the big question: how do you think President Ramaphosa would react if ambushed Zelensky-style by Trump and Vance in the House of Horrors? He has already vowed to his people: we will not be bullied. It's hard to tell, but my hope is that with the benefit of hindsight, he will be at his diplomatic best, flashing his trademark smile of charm and cordiality to show good faith.
He would be wise to maintain his composure and allow his detractors to spew out their vitriol without interruption. Leave them in no doubt that you hear what they are saying and even empathise with some of their frustrations. And once they're over with the torrent of threats and ultimatums, he should deliver a calm, dignified but firm response, thanking them for their frankness and making them understand how much SA values its relationship with the US.
He should boldly point out some of the falsehoods they've been fed about SA, and gently remind them how unfair criticism of SA in the past has served not to divide the country but unite its people even more across racial and cultural lines. It's often said that remaining calm and refusing to engage in a fight has the potential to confuse, even disarm, bullies.
So, even if Ramaphosa is eventually turfed out of the Oval Office by his hosts, at least he can leave with his dignity and integrity intact.
World's your oyster, Dylan
It's perhaps unusual for a columnist to single out a publication for praise on a job well done, but it's fully justified in this instance. The excellent, wide-ranging coverage by the POST of Dylan Naidoo's historic victory in the recent SA Open was out of the top drawer - capturing, as it did, the drama and excitement, the historic significance and the political context of the young golfer's achievement.
As an avid follower of news and commentary, to say I was disappointed at overall media coverage of Dylan's victory is probably an understatement.
Okay, okay, I take the point that there was a feast of other active sport taking place that same weekend, but Dylan's win was something special. It was the first by a player of colour in the Open - one of the principal tournaments on the Sunshine Tour. Not only that. It also harked back grim memories of how black sportsmen and women were shut off from competing in major events because of the colour of their skin.
One couldn't help but be reminded of the humiliation suffered by another Indian South African golfer, Papwa Sewgolum, who was forced to receive his prize in the rain after winning the Natal Open at the same course some 62 years ago.
My grouse is that this prestigious event used to command almost wall-to-wall coverage in newspapers, radio and TV in past years yet general media coverage this time, with the odd exception, was rather lukewarm and, at times, token.
Come on, media, let's celebrate our sporting heroes evenhandedly. And as for Dylan, you have done yourself, your community and your country proud. The world's now your oyster.
Last stop
Like that well known brand of batteries, Durban businessman and politician Visvin Reddy is ever ready to dive head first into controversies.
Once fully-charged in Parliament last week, the MK Party whip launched a blistering attack on the Minister of Water and Sanitation, Pemmy Majodina, accusing her of being unfit for office, of being in denial about the current water crisis in the country, and failing the nation.
He went further calling for her removal as minister. To be fair, there was little to fault the substance of his speech generally, especially as water cuts and shortages are now the biggest talking point in the country. But instead of bringing his argument to a close, Reddy switched on his rechargeables and began chanting "Pemmy must go, Pemmy must go", much to the annoyance of Deputy Speaker Annelie Lotriet, who asked him to sit down and for parliamentary officials to have him removed.
Reddy at first appeared to ignore Lotriet's request to sit down and took him some time before gathering his files and walking out, complaining bitterly that he had not heard the Deputy Speaker. But the Deputy Speaker was adamant: "Honourable Reddy couldn't hear me because he was chanting."
Perhaps it's time for Parliament to invest in new hearing aid batteries for all MPs.
Dennis Pather is a retired newspaper editor, author and columnist.Email him at [email protected]
* From newsroom gofer to award-winning editor, join South African media legend Dennis Pather on a fascinating trip down memory lane in his captivating memoir, Copy Boy. This heart- warming journey takes you inside the newsroom, filled with laughter, hard-earned wisdom, and the power of family. As a special offer to readers of POST, you can now get a copy of Dennis Pather’s fascinating new book, COPY BOY, for just R100. WhatsApp 078 593 0585 for delivery details or 083 452 2831for direct collection.
** The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of IOL or Independent Media.