By Nicola Mawson
If the queues of women outside the clerk of the court’s office in the Johannesburg High Court for enforcement or variation of maintenance orders are anything to go by, a lot of men aren’t stepping up and freeing women from the financial burden of raising children alone. And that’s just one example of what has become known as financial abuse.
Statistics South Africa figures from 2021, which happens to be the latest, shows that 40% of all homes are headed by women. However, according to definitive and oft-quoted research by the HSRC from 2018, female-headed households tend to be poorer than those led by men. Moreover, 44.1% of women who are solely responsible for the family are unemployed, compared with 38.1% for men.
Add to this that more than 60% of women are raising children alone, with 46% of them not receiving any child support, and it’s clear that financial abuse is a very real issue, Felicity Guest, internationally accredited financial abuse specialist, tells Personal Finance: “Child maintenance is such a pervasive issue and, in my opinion, is the biggest contributing factor to gender inequality.”
The fact that women need to spend hours, if not days, sitting on hard benches to get men to fulfil their financial, legally required, obligations is also an indictment on our legal system.
Researcher and Family Law Attorney Karen Botha, in her March 2024 Interim Report on South African Family Court Systems, found lengthy delays in cases progressing through courts.
Bertus Preller, a divorce and family law attorney in Cape Town, unpacked the statistical findings, saying “in the maintenance courts, for example, a staggering 46.6% of cases take more than a year to finalise. These delays are not only frustrating for litigants but can also have devastating consequences for children and families in need of urgent relief.”
Preller adds that the report also highlighted that judicial officers and court staff aren’t properly trained, especially when it comes to family law matters, which most of the 655 participants felt required special training.
“This is crucial given the sensitive nature of these cases and the far-reaching impact that court decisions can have on the lives of children and families,” he wrote.
Guest says there needs to be political will to implement the legal framework that exists to ensure that maintenance is paid, and the Constitutional rights of children are upheld. Chapter 2 of the Constitution provides that “every child has a right to be protected from neglect,” while the Children’s Act states that “the best interests of the child are of paramount importance in every matter concerning the child”.
However, when men pay maintenance sporadically, or at different times of the month, women suffer the consequences through bounced debit orders, which not only affects their financial standing, but also their ability to look after their children, says Guest.
She’s currently trying to get financial institutions to implement a system whereby banks assist women who are suffering from this sort of financial abuse. “This is sabotage.”
But abuse doesn’t stop there. Guest notes that women are often coerced into being stay at home moms, but there’s no definitive plan to enable them to reenter the workforce. She said women aren’t having conversations about them studying further or being paid to be a caregiver.
“Traditional gender roles and societal expectations can exacerbate the pressure on women to prioritise family needs over their own financial security," says Samantha Jagdessi, head of advice and best practice at Old Mutual Corporate Consultants.
Lindiwe Sebesho, managing director of Remchannel at Old Mutual, adds that, when pregnant, women also take a significant pay cut, having to rely on UIF instead of a partial salary.
Advocate Jade Lawson also told Personal Finance that she has also seen men controlling all the household finances. “In one case, a husband controlled all the shopping. The wife and children had to go without essentials until he decided to shop, a clear method of control.”
Another method of control Lawson highlighted was men providing a minimal daily allowance for household expenses and fuel. “An abuser might impose restrictive budgets that are insufficient for basic needs, while retaining control over all significant financial decisions, leading to severe economic hardship.”
Michelle James, a family law mediator, says women are often held hostage by money, or the lack thereof. “Many women prioritise providing for their children and themselves, often at the expense of their well-being.”
One survivor of this sort of abuse told Personal Finance that her now ex-husband kept tight control over money until it suited him to spend it, which meant that there wasn’t enough cash for an urgent operation the next month. “This was an important surgery, and I felt like he didn't care whether I lived or died.”
Lawson explains that, in such instances, women can apply for protection orders under the Domestic Violence Act, which can specifically address financial abuse. “These orders can compel the abuser to provide financial support, prevent them from controlling finances, or stop them from disposing of assets.” However, as James says, this law is often not fully understood.
Tips provided by interview subjects:
- Be financially stable first before you get married
- If abused financially, find a confidant to help create a step-by-step plan
- Explore opportunities for home-based work or turning hobbies into businesses to balance childcare responsibilities
- Be aware that some partners might try to control these earnings
- Create a financial safety net by opening a private bank account
- Save as much money as possible
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