Sexual fantasies can be incredibly powerful. Consider, for instance, the fantasy orgasm - in which a person is able to reach an orgasm purely by fantasizing.
For those of us who have never experienced it, the concept - first documented in 1992 - proves that when it comes to sexual release, the imagination can be as powerful as actual touch.
Yet you may well wonder why people need to fantasise if they are already enjoying good sex with their partner. The evidence suggests that once settled into a relationship and the spark of lust has worn off, the majority of people do not get their sexual turn-ons from their partner, according to UK-based sex and relationships writer Tracey Cox.
Many married women use sexual fantasies to become aroused and to reach an orgasm in sex with their spouse, irrespective of how good their lovemaking was, Cox says. In fact, for women fantasies are the equivalent of a vibrator for the mind - in one quick and easy step they can convert so-so sex to mind-blowingly orgasmic sex.
If you're wondering what your lover is contemplating when she looks distant during sex, it's quite possible she may be lost in one of these scenarios…
Top 10 female sexual fantasies:
10. A sex worker being paid to perform all manner of sinful sex acts on random strangers.
9. Being completely irresistible to men, especially ones who are highly desirable to her and who, of course, fling themselves at her.
8. Raunchy sex with a nameless, faceless, no-strings-attached stranger.
7. Receiving expert oral sex in public places, like under her desk at work or under the table in a restaurant - and not being caught.
6. Sex with a celebrity (Jamie Foxx, Brad Pitt, Vin Diesel, Justin Bieber, etc.)
5. A threesome with two men who adore her body and can't get enough of her.
4. Sex with a hunky colleague, especially one who is “unavailable” or in a position of authority.
3. Sex with a woman, not necessarily because she's lesbian but because many women are bi-curious.
2. Sex with a man who is not her partner - especially a friend or a friend's partner.
1. Anticipating sex with her current partner or a former lover (and it goes without saying that most men would prefer their lovers to fantasise only about them).
But before you endure pangs of jealousy or anxiety, take heart: your lover is not necessarily planning to indulge her fantasies in real life. The reality is that most women would never want to actually experience what they fantasize about - especially if you consider that in this “safe” context many women indulge their dark side with rape fantasies or anonymous sex with a group of men.
The point is that it's safe to imagine all sorts of lusty scenarios to get aroused without seeking to acting them out. If you look at sexual fantasies in this light, “cheating” in our heads can help to keep our sex lives more exciting and ultimately, more satisfying. - IOL
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