QUESTION: I’ve been with my husband for 22 years and we still have plenty of sex – but he doesn’t kiss me.
He might give me a quick peck on the lips, but we haven’t had a proper kiss for years. I feel that a crucial element has been removed from my love life. What shall I do?
ANSWER: There’s nothing like smooching to make even the oldest lovers feel like teenagers. But in my experience (and your letter bears this out), men tire of kissing first – while the desire to lock lips haunts us women to the grave.
A kiss represents the first glimpse of a man’s capacity for tenderness. There’s something about the unexpected softness of male lips that reduces a woman to mush.
A great kiss is an intimation of what’s to come. However, a bad kiss can doom a relationship before it’s begun.
Yet a 2011 survey for the British Heart Foundation found that a fifth of married couples go a week without kissing.
Most men I know don’t put much dewy-eyed emphasis on kissing – they’re more likely to monitor the frequency of sexual encounters. But women view kissing as vital for love-making, so it’s hurtful when our blokes abandon the fine art.
Your husband needs a gentle reminder that continued courtship is necessary for marital satisfaction. And you need to fathom why he’s become so reluctant to kiss you. Is he worried about his oral hygiene or (perish the thought!) yours? These things can be fixed – but not if you don’t talk about it.
Or perhaps he has become shy about face-to-face intimacy? If so, start practising. Can you steal a kiss in front of the TV to get him back into the habit?
One thing is for certain – you’ll have to take the driving seat or settle for fewer smooches than you desire. No man kisses with conviction if driven beyond his comfort zone.
Daily Mail