QUESTION: I’ve been dating a man I met online for eight months.
He feels like my soulmate - we have great sex and we both have two teenage sons and a divorce behind us. But he believes we should “keep our options open” and leave our dating profiles up online. He says he’s not seeing anyone else, but can’t rule it out in the future. What shall I do?
ANSWER: Internet dating opens doors, but brings with it infinite possibilities. Those with a restless disposition are implicitly encouraged to always be on the lookout for the next match.
On top of that, having both been through a divorce, you and your boyfriend have good reason to be mistrustful of love.
While you may still believe happiness is best attained with monogamy, clearly your partner feels more cynical. Perhaps his split was more bruising?
Whatever the reason, I suggest you take him at his word. He has been honest: that bodes well.
I know women who have dated men who ‘forgot’ to delete their online profiles - and, in fact, had no intention of sticking around.
Your bloke sounds like the sort of person who would tell you if he started seeing someone else.Remember, it’s quite possible that your bond will strengthen and that day will never come.
But can you stand so much uncertainty in the meantime?
If not, bring things to a head. Tell your partner you are thinking of going on a few dates with other men. If he doesn’t protest, then you know he’s serious about an open relationship.
Alternatively, ask yourself whether perhaps his approach is right and it’s too early to rush into a relationship that resembles the marriage you left. Could you come to terms with this man being just one of several charming suitors?
If that idea appals you, walk away. Then, if your man finds he can’t live without you, you can demand that fidelity you crave.
Daily Mail