Cape Town - Sex addiction has nothing to do with a person enjoying lots of sexual activity.
So says Owen Redahan, vice-chair of the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity (ATSAC) in Britain.
He will be giving a talk in Cape Town on Wednesday, entitled 'Sex Addiction: Accepting its existence and doing something about it'.
Sex addiction has been taking its time in gaining acceptance as a bona fide mental health disorder, both within the professional and public domains, says a press release.
Many have been quick to dismiss the condition as nothing more than an excuse used by self-serving men to justify ongoing irresponsible sexual behaviour. The notion of sex addiction is more likely to inspire judgment than compassion.
Sex addiction has not been a top research priority, and the scientific literature about the condition is still emerging. But what is well-established, is the ever-increasing numbers of both men and women who arrive at the practices of counsellors asking for help with debilitating sexual compulsions that are threatening their well-being; in just the same way that substance addictions disable people and put them, and their families, at risk.
Redahan has a private practice in London's Canary Wharf.
He points out that sex addiction has nothing to do with a person enjoying lots of sexual activity.
“Like other addictions, the addiction to sex is a compulsive cycle of negativity that begins and ends with feeling bad. The person is unable to gain control in any kind of sustainable way, except by acknowledging the problem and getting outside help. Like other addictions, it is characterised by denial, repeated efforts to keep on track which keep failing because of compulsive responses to triggers. Apart from a brief 'hit' from the release of dopamine in the brain, it's not enjoyable. Sex addiction is deeply mired in intense feelings of shame, guilt, anger, hopelessness, anxiety and despair.”
We tend to think of sex addition as watching too much Internet porn, but Redahan says that the term applies equally to other sexual activities such as compulsively engaging in prostitution, social media driven hook-ups, exhibitionism, masturbation, voyeurism, serial affairs and repetitively frequenting sex environments such as strip clubs and sex shops.
However, he does believe that today's simple access to an absolute abundance of Internet porn makes it all too easy for far more people, especially the younger generation, to become addicted to sex. “We're looking at a potential avalanche of sex addition,” he says, “Which is why it is really important that we need to have these types of conversations about sex addition, what it is, what normal is and what help is available.”
While there is little research to pinpoint the causes of sex addiction, trained sex addiction therapists work with clients to understand underlying issues on an individual basis.
“Sex addicts are looking for an escape from core feelings. Those may be feelings of low self-worth, depression, anxiety, abandonment, lack of attachment, even, boredom. At first the sexual experiences bring pleasure and relief. But as the behaviour becomes more intense and more frequent, it gets overwhelmed by the anxiety of the secrecy, shame and obsession. By the time, the sex addict reaches out for help; their behaviour has usually resulted in the breakdown of important relationships or problems at work or even, troubles with the law.”
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is one of the routes available for the sex addict to gain awareness of the disorder and re-establish their control over their sexual thoughts and activities. As with other addictions, it is a long road to walk. There is no quick fix, and it requires an ongoing commitment to recognising and avoiding the triggers that can derail recovery.
“What's important is that healing is possible,” says Owen.
“By lifting the veil on this devastating condition, sex addicts can put themselves back in control and move on to enjoy fulfilling sexual relationships that provide the healthy attachment that we all need for our well-being.”
* The talk on Wednesday February 23 is hosted by the South African College of Applied Psychology) in Cape Town as part of their continued efforts to train an inspired workforce of counsellors to service those people who fall by the wayside of accessible mental health services.
The talk starts at 12:30pm (SACAP campus in Claremont, Cape Town) and runs for an hour. Entrance is for free, but booking is essential. Please visit www.sacap.edu.za/event
IOL, adapted from a press release