Sleeping with a married man used not to be something to brag about, no matter how famous he was. Liz Taylor, never quite able to shake off the scandal of breaking up Eddie Fisher’s marriage to Debbie Reynolds, once joked: “The world thinks of me as such a scarlet woman, I’m almost purple.” But these days, being the “other woman” seems more likely to land you a TV gig than a scarlet letter.
Consider Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, the stripper and tattoo model who says she slept with Jesse James, Sandra Bullock’s ex-husband. Ka-ching! She was reportedly offered a $500-per-hour (about R3 500) modelling job by a website for cheaters.
Rachel Uchitel, the nightclub exec linked to Tiger Woods, is said to have received about R75 million after their alleged affair. Swimwear model Jamie Jungers, another member of Team Tiger, won about R560 000 in a beauty pageant – competing against his other alleged mistresses.
Then there’s ex-call girl Ashley Dupré, who rose to fame after news broke that New York governor Eliot Spitzer had been paying her for sex. Once broke, she’s now a New York Post columnist (a prize most young writers would kill for), with a coveted appearance on the popular US talk show The View to add to her CV.
And how could we forget the affair between Jude Law and his children’s nanny, Daisy Wright, which hit headlines in 2005 and put paid to Jude’s relationship with Sienna Miller for nearly five years?
The tale Daisy sold the tabloids described a lonely star who was in a volatile relationship with a spoilt actress and seduced his naive employee.
Note the word “sold”. After seeking out the help of notorious publicist Max Clifford, famous for representing OJ Simpson and David Beckham’s mistress, Rebecca Loos, she received an undisclosed amount for her story. But we’re guessing it was more than the average nanny’s salary if she was willing to face the wrath of Sienna, who reportedly told an American interviewer that “Daisy had better live in fear”.
You’d think celebrities would’ve learnt to weigh up the price of their indiscretions after the almost career-destroying arrest in 1995 of Hugh Grant for soliciting sex with prostitute Divine Brown, who went on to make an alleged R12 million in publicity. Hugh’s career, meanwhile, took a knock until Notting Hill redeemed him four years later. “That night made him famous in the States and me famous overseas,” Divine proudly told the UK’s Daily Mail.
Then there was the 1998 Lewinsky affair, where 22-year-old White House intern Monica Lewinsky claimed to have had sexual relations with US President Bill Clinton.
After he was acquitted of all the charges, Monica went on to run her own company, The Real Monica Inc, which manufactured handbags. She also received about R3.7 million for participating in Andrew Morton’s book Monica’s Story (out of print) and about R7.5 million from the international rights to an interview with TV journalist Barbara Walters.
And it doesn’t stop there. There are three rumoured celebrity mistress reality-TV shows in the works. Want to know what a day in the life of one of Tiger’s “other women” involves? You’ll be able to tune in to Rachel Uchitel’s reality show, Romancing Rachel, to find out.
With the man behind MTV’s Jersey Shore and The Bachelor on board as a producer, viewers can anticipate high levels of drama.
Rachel isn’t the only one of Tiger’s alleged mistresses to be offered screen time. Jamie Jungers and Jesse James’s Michelle McGee are reportedly in talks to host Celebrity Cheaters, a celeb version of the popular reality show that exposes wayward partners.
Of course, not all women who have affairs with celebs are looking to exploit the situation. There must be many out there who’ve chosen to remain quiet. But it’s obvious that some women don’t have any hang-ups about cashing in on their celebrity trysts.
So what sets these women apart? “It’s clear from their behaviour that they’re opportunists who will use any situation to find fame and fortune without considering the impact on others,” explains psychologist Dr Diane Preddy. “Especially in this economy, people are competing for everything from jobs to partners. It’s a dog-eat- dog survival mentality, with little thought being spared for anyone else.”
But isn’t the whole mistress glorification thing getting a little out of hand? We’re not saying that the blame lies solely with the women. Both parties in an affair are equally liable. But whereas the celebs tend to get bad press for their behaviour (see Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods), the women involved are offered double-page spreads in magazines, prime time TV slots and major book deals.
Affairs have been happening since the beginning of time and they almost always lead to devastation – if not of a marriage, of a relationship, friendship or trust. Call us old-fashioned, but having an affair shouldn’t be something to be proud of, regardless of who you’re sleeping with.
So why are women getting involved with married men in the first place? “People often turn to an affair for love and acceptance, but the married person is more often than not using the affair as an addition and not a substitution to their marriage,” warns Preddy. “He’ll rarely leave his wife for his mistress, leaving the ‘other woman’ with relationship scraps.
“I’d suggest seeking out counselling if you’re currently in an affair or thinking of having one, to understand why you’re doing it and what the effects are going to be on yourself and others.
“It may seem like a good idea at the time, but you’re often not in control of the situation. And you run the risk of losing your own identity.”
So if you’re wondering why, in this economy, it seems as if what you do is less important than who you do, don’t worry – we’re wondering too. Let’s band together and brand this thing a big scarlet “O”, for over.
* This article appears in the October issue of Glamour magazine.