QUESTION: I split from the father of my children last year after two decades and have just started dating again.
I’m seeing a man I met online who’s 12 years younger than me (I’m 49). In the past few weeks he’s sent me two intimate photos and asked for naked pictures in return. I feel uncomfortable with the idea, but worry I’ll look prudish if I don’t.
ANSWER: You would have thought the great thing about reaching middle age would be knowing your comfort zone and recognising when it’s unwise to step outside it. But social media and the unfamiliar rules of online etiquette have discombobulated everyone over the age of 40.
I’ve met several women in their 30s who enjoy a lively dating scene online and seem happy to show off their smartphone galleries of male body parts sent by admirers. When asked if they send saucy photos in return, they reply: “Yes.”
One 30-something friend thinks nothing of texting a photo of her breasts. I’m only a decade older, but the thought fills me with horror. But you can see why women — younger ones in particular — throw caution to the wind. So many celebrities, such as reality TV stars the Kardashians, post revealing photos of themselves that it can seem de rigueur to let the world have a good gawp.
So I would share your caution. You have only just started seeing your boyfriend and ,however, as much as you like him, you can’t possibly have established perfect trust. How can you guarantee he won’t show an image to a friend or have his phone stolen?
Explain your reservations to your boyfriend. If your man has a sincere romantic attachment to you, he’s not going to flee.
And if you’re worried about being deemed prudish, there are plenty of alternative ways to keep erotic tension high.
Daily Mail