QUESTION: I am 49 and addicted to flirting – on Facebook, parties, the bus, just about anywhere.
My husband isn’t a jealous man and doesn’t mind if I have lunch with an admirer (although he would if I carried it further), but my best friend says it’s inappropriate. Is it so tragic when a middle-aged woman flirts?
ANSWER: The boundaries of flirting are notoriously hard to police, because it all depends upon your charm, intelligence, gender and, yes, age. An older woman being suggestive with a younger man can appear a bit desperate, whereas a youth telling a middle-aged woman she’s gorgeous seems chivalrous.
Well-judged flirting is a wonderful thing because it perks everyone up and makes the old feel youthful, the young feel sophisticated, married people feel desirable, and single people feel optimistic.
But it sounds as if you’re even keener on receiving flirtatious attention than giving it, which is always slightly dangerous. I’d make a guess that part of this compulsion is linked to you approaching 50.
It’s interesting that your best friend and husband have such different perspectives on your behaviour. I’d hazard a guess one reason for that is your chum sees far more of your skittish interaction. Any considerate flirt is more restrained when their spouse is present. Can you honestly say the thought of carrying things further never enters your head?
So while there’s nothing tragic about a flirtatious middle-aged woman, you have to be alert to possible consequences: overstepping sensible boundaries, or breaking someone else’s heart to bolster your ego.
The answer is surely to practise safe flirting. Ensure fellow flirtees know you’re devoted to your husband and only unleash the jolly banter in public places with people who will take it as a compliment - not a contract.
Daily Mail