QUESTION: I am 52 and have been single since my divorce five years ago. Over the past year, I’ve become friendly with a very attractive man in his late 40s and recently we had festive drinks and he made a pass. I have lost so much confidence and was so scared of disappointing him that I said no at once. Now I hugely regret it, but have no idea how to angle for a second chance. Help!
ANSWER: The central tenet of the laws of sexual success is that an ounce of confidence outstrips a pound of beauty. It doesn’t matter how perfect your proportions and smooth your skin if you are crippled by self-doubt. So the real issue here is how we restore your sense of self.
After five years it’s natural to be terrified by the thought of physical contact — especially when you feel that this man is too good-looking for you. You’re in error, because if your friend has chosen you as a lover, then you clearly are gorgeous enough for him.
Look at the evidence: he’s been your good friend for a year, going out of his way to spend time with you and now he’d like to get more familiar. In what way can that mean anything except that he finds you highly attractive.
Here’s your strategy: put on your sexiest outfit and go out for drinks again, but set your dials to a big generous Christmas “yes”.
If he doesn’t proposition you this time, then why not be the one who makes the pass? I know, I know: you’re scared it will be humiliating if he turns you down. But what’s so terrible about momentary loss of dignity in the pursuit of love?
There’s nothing shameful in receiving the answer “No!” to an intimate suggestion. After all, you weren’t being dismissive when you turned down your male friend. You were simply scared.
Finally, take a look in the mirror and see what your gorgeous male friend saw: an attractive and experienced woman. It’s time to open up to all of life’s rich possibilities and remember that if you reach out to other people, they will generally reciprocate. - Daily Mail