Guys, it has to be said, are unbelievably lucky. Most have no problem with having orgasms - and they learn how to self-pleasure very successfully from a young age.
The picture is entirely different for women. For one, the site of the female orgasm - the clitoris - is hidden from view and is not exactly begging for solo play. Nor are girls encouraged in this pursuit in quite the same way that boys are. Not surprisingly, most women don't automatically have orgasms when they start having sex but have to teach themselves how to do so, usually through masturbation.
This is why it's healthy for young women to take matters into their own hands and figure out how to bring themselves to sexual release when there's no pressure to do so. Sexual self-knowledge is very useful for young adults entering their first sexual relationship - and it's empowering. A person who knows how to build to a climax can show his or her partner some sure-fire techniques.
Many women, however, have inadequate self-knowledge and battle to tip themselves over the edge and into an orgasm. And when they do, their orgasms may be underwhelming or infrequent. It helps if a woman's partner knows what is likely to do the trick for her, but if she doesn't know her own sexual response she can't really expect her partner to.
How do women learn to orgasm? And how can they increase the intensity and frequency of their orgasms to make sex an infinitely more pleasurable past-time? If these are some of the issues you face, here are some suggestions:
Build sexual knowledge
When choosing a career, many people study as much theory as possible to develop specialist knowledge, then put this into practice. Sexual knowledge can be developed from reading good sex books that describe techniques and positions for increasing pleasure. Read as much as you can to broaden your awareness, and try the techniques and sex positions that appeal to you. Refine what works, and keep trying new moves.
Boosting arousal levels
Guys are easily aroused by nudity but for women, arousal is a far more complex process. The mind is the biggest sex organ. Experiment with arousal boosters like erotica and fantasies and use these in intimate encounters with your partner. Learn to build excitement by focusing on identified arousal triggers.
Solo practice makes perfect
More women orgasm when masturbating than with their partners. Self-pleasuring is a good way to figure out what works, and with practise it gets easier and better over time. The more orgasms our bodies have, the quicker and easier it becomes for them to respond sexually and to reach a climax. And the more sex we have, the more our bodies want it.
Relax and let go
The more comfortable and relaxed a woman feels with her partner, the more likely she is to let go and reach an orgasm. This is because if a woman feels completely accepted by and trusts her partner, it's easier for her to be assertive about what she wants in the bedroom and to let go with abandon when receiving pleasure.
Gaining confidence with experience
With time, women become less concerned about measuring up to some unattainable ideal when naked and shift their focus to giving and receiving pleasure. They become more sexually confident, worrying less about looking good and more about honing their techniques. It's important to throw off any nagging sense of inadequacy and focus on mutual pleasure.
Choose good sex positions
Sex positions that allow stimulation of the clitoris or G-spot increase a woman's chances of an orgasm. Woman-on-top and doggie-style positions are effective for massaging the G-spot. The Grind and the Missionary position with a pillow underneath her buttocks increase clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex. Dual stimulation, such as massaging the clitoris during penetrative intercourse, also boosts the likelihood of an orgasm.
Breathe faster
A woman can speed up the process to an orgasm by taking short, hard and fast breaths as if she is panting, and imagining this panting going down into her genitals. Guys can use a reverse process to slow their progress to an orgasm, by deliberately slowing down their breathing.
Clenching and releasing
When a woman orgasms, her vaginal and anal muscles contract. By choosing to tense and then release the PC muscle (as if stopping the flow of urine) and anal sphincters, it's possible to build a sensation of orgasm and encourage the onset of one.
Bear down
Women usually clench their PC muscle as they near an orgasm but doing the opposite - bearing down as if trying to push a baby out - often leads to an orgasm. It's also a good technique for female ejaculation (a clear fluid that is not urine and which is released just before or during an orgasm) if the G-spot is receiving stimulation. Bearing down often brings on more powerful orgasms. - IOL