Today, hitting on strange women is sadly a dying art. Technology has taken over and “hey, what’s your name?” has been replaced by the Facebook poke. My 30-something friends keep reminding me how MXit and Facebook have moffiefied guys and killed the great tradition of “hunting”.
As I said, my generation was the last generation to score chicks the old-fashioned way.
Back in the ’90s you’d see a girl, make eye contact and maybe flash a smile. If you were an idiot you’d whistle or shout something random. But usually you’d contemplate making a move. At this point the adrenalin would soar through your veins and your heart rate would be amped.
If you did manage to yourself up enough to actually follow through with it, you’d find the nerves starting to overwhelm you with every step you took. And then there would be the doubt.
“What the hell am I doing?
“What will I say to her?”
Most times you’d end up saying something completely retarded and would come across sounding like a stuttering fool.
Eventually after going through the motions you’d get the hang of it and develop a bit of a smooth routine. Some guys are just naturally gifted at this. But for most guys, there is always that bit of a rush that’s associated with approaching strange women.
However, no matter how good you get at it, there is always one problem that will plague you no matter where you go: how do you get rid of her best friend who is always hanging around?
The concept of the wingman was invented to solve this very problem.
Sometime in the history of the planet men learnt it is unwise to hunt women solo. Because more often than not the girl you’re interested in has a friend, often a whale, attached to her. The trouble is she feels left out when you’re hitting on her friend and will then do whatever it takes to ruin your chances of hooking up.
Common tactics include sticking around all night and listening in on your conversation, or simply ruining the whole operation by dragging the target home early.
Now the purpose of having a wingman around is to distract the less attractive beast while you get to work on the prize.
Often the wingman will be stuck with the fat friend all night, but that comes with the territory of being a wingman and good wingmen are well aware of the selfless sacrifice they are required to make, and do it with a smile.
The problem is, good wingmen are a rare breed and most men would rather enter themselves into the competition for the prize than play backup while someone else gets all the glory.
Let’s face it, at some point Robin must have become tired of being Batman’s sidekick.
So without wingmanning and co-operation, guys often find themselves chasing the same girl with no one winning in the end – studies show women can often hold out for lengthy periods when there is interest from multiple parties.
Of course you could always fly solo, but then that would make you vulnerable to attack from lesser beasts who will almost always ruin your chances.
The real solution, however, was presented to me by a guy named Ernie “The Rat.”
They called him “The Rat” because he looked and behaved like one. Nevertheless Ernie was, and still is, a lady killer. Some time back Ernie, having driven all his guy friends away with his rat ways, started using women to play the wingman role. In fact, he believed women made better wingmen then guys. Apparently they could open doors guys couldn’t and create in-roads for you into unexplored markets, like introduce you to hot chicks who wouldn’t otherwise talk to you.
“You need women to pick up women,” Ernie used to say.
We’ve used female wingmen at some point, but for some reason don’t do it often enough. In a way Ernie’s theory is a throwback to those days in school when you would use your chick friend to put a good word in for you with the girl you had a crush on.
Who said girls can’t make good friends?
Wingwoman tips
* Marketing: your wingwoman will market you well. Being a girl, she knows just what other girls want to hear. Unleash her and she’ll make you sound like the best thing since sliced bread.
* New Territory: so you want to hook up with this honey but don’t know how to get an intro. Your wingwoman will be able to infiltrate most female cliques and get you in, too. What’s cool is that your wingwoman also comes with her own set of hot friends, which you can feast your way through, discreetly of course.
* Illusion: get the hottest wingwoman you can find and you will turn heads wherever you go. The best part, however, is that you make the girl you really want insanely jealous and lead others to believe that you’ve got some serious game.
* Tactics: often us guys are misguided about how to go about hooking women, which is why every now and again the perspective of other people is required. Having a wingwoman in your dugout will certainly be the ace in your pack. Women have the remarkable ability to pick up vibes and will be able to let you know who’s interested and who’s not. She will also help you refine your game.
* Co-operation: a wingwoman will never compete with you for the same girl. Just make sure she’s straight. - Sunday Tribune