I know, I know. No way will you allow her to bring home a huge, fake penis that swivels and vibrates to replace your best buddy. Just ain't gonna happen, Jack. Right?
And why would she even want one of those freaky machines when you've got the perfect solution for her body's most intimate needs? This is what many couples argue - that sex is the most natural of acts and should be kept that way: anything that needs batteries is definitely out of line. But then, why wash by hand when you can buy a washing machine? Why ride a horse when you can cruise in a Ferrari?
New inventions are all about convenience and pleasure, and the manufacturers know a market when they see one. When it comes to women's vibrators, boy do they have 20-20 vision. Sex toys are a billion dollar business - and for good reason.
Vibrators have been around for centuries, albeit in non-vibrating form. The first steam-operated vibe was invented by an American doctor in 1869 for the treatment of women suffering from 'hysteria' (emotional or mental disturbance due to sexual deprivation). And the treatment - I kid you not - entailed genital massage by the good doctor until sexual release occurred.
Then some kind soul invented the battery-operated vibe in 1890, which helped these doctors no end. Not surprisingly, this 'ailment' was the most common complaint among women in those times. That should tell you something about the efficacy of the treatment.
While the myth of hysteria was discredited in the 1950s, it took a few decades afterwards for women to wake up to what they've been missing and begin shopping for their own battery-run 'treatment'. For many, vibrators have been a personal orgasmic revelation and they've never looked back.
“But aren't I enough for her?” I hear you cry. “Why does she need a buzzing willy to get her aroused to orgasm, when she's got me?” Why does she, indeed? Now let's see… Masturbation. Porn. Strip joints. These are some of the external aids that guys use for sexual release. So what's wrong with her having a little prop or two of her own?
If you're still a doubting Thomas, here are eight hard-to-beat reasons why you should rethink your approach to vibrators for her:
1. Vibrators bring great pleasure to women. In waves. Again and again. And her pleasure (read: orgasms) should be important to you (unless you're a selfish git), so why would you want to deny her? It shouldn't matter how she reaches orgasm. She's still with you after all these years and keeps coming back for more, so stop being insecure.
2. A vibe can never replace you. Really. I mean, can it tell a joke? Can it give her a deep, intimate kiss? Can it hold her when she gets emotional after a multiple orgasm? Can it snuggle, or tell her how beautiful she is? (And if you have a powerful new vibe in the boudoir, you'd better sharpen these skills - fast.)
3. If she enjoys some good vibrations, it doesn't mean that you aren't pleasing her. You aren't some kind of massive failure if she introduces a vibe or other sex toys to your bedtime toy box. But they do add a lot more fun to the sexual mix, like beer at a braai or hot lingerie on a sexy body.
4. On those occasions that you're so excited that it's all over in a matter of seconds, when she glares at your spent appendage like she might cause it violent harm, you can quickly reach into the draw and pull out a vibe before she can say “Roger Rabbit”. As long as she gets to have an orgasm or two, she'll be blissful. And your pecker will be safe.
5. Vibes introduce variety. Which in the bedroom is always a good thing. I bet you've long since moved on from the missionary position of your early sexual forays - but how much fun would you be having if you hadn't? Precisely.
6. You'll be amazed at how much pleasure you can both get from a vibrator. Vibes aren't only a girl's best friend - they can do wonders for guys too. Pop a bit of lube on and explore your bodies together. Ask her to apply a gentle vibe to your scrotum, for instance, or your perineum. Bet you'll become the vibe's second biggest fan.
7. When it comes to inducing orgasms, vibes are quick, easy and get the job done. While a guy can take all of three minutes to climax, women often take 30 minutes. Or more. If she's tired or you're short of time, why not accept a little extra help?
8. And now for a purely selfish reason: you get to watch the action. Instead of skulking in the background like a wounded rhino, offer to take control of the vibe and pleasure her, leaving her free to enjoy the sensation while you explore all her sexiest bits. Then it becomes your own erotic show, and a prelude to your grand finale.
View a wide range of hot vibrators and read about how and why to use them at OhZone. - IOL