10 bedtime tricks for today's bride

Gone are the days when a bride was advised to "lie back and think of England".

Gone are the days when a bride was advised to "lie back and think of England".

Published Jun 3, 2011

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“Lie back and think of England.”

There was a time when enjoyment of sex was the male preserve. Women were supposed to grit their teeth while their husbands climbed on top of them and got their groove on.

From whence came the idea that women did not actively take part in sex is not known, but the diary of Lady Alice Hillingdon (1857-1940) illustrates the mindset (Wikipedia): “I am happy now that George calls on my bedchamber less frequently than of old. As it is, I now endure but two calls a week, and when I hear his steps outside my door I lie down on my bed, close my eyes, open my legs, and think of England.”

Legend has it that in the Victorian era this instruction was given to new brides - including by Queen Victoria to her daughter on her wedding night.

Much has changed. Today's bride is usually no stranger to orgasmic experiences, especially self-induced ones. No longer the passive receptacle who dutifully lifts her wedding skirt, she is more likely to unveil her sex toy trousseau and heart shaped (or bejewelled) pubic hair on her wedding night.

Here are 10 sexy moves that today's bride may well surprise her groom with:

1. Shaved pubes. She knows that guys go wild over a smooth vagina, not because they're paedophiles but because they love the clear view they get of a woman's hottest bits - and he won't get any hairs stuck between his teeth during her favourite activity, oral sex.

2. Talking dirty. She's not shy to tell him in explicit detail what she's going to do to him and what she wants him to do for her in bed, to create heightened sexual tension. She sends him dirty texts and graphic photos as promissory notes.

3. A blow job quickie. As a warm up, with the main course later on. She knows that guys love nothing better than a blow job from warm, soft lips. She might use her garter belt to tie her hair back so he can see the action as she gazes into his eyes.

4. Woman-on-top sex. Because guys love to be treated to a sexy show where she's in charge - and even better if he has a back-to-front view. She indulges one of his most potent senses in sex, that of visual excitement, with a close-up view of the action while she does all the work.

5. Sex in the shower. The indulgent sensation of warm water running down his body while he moves to the gushing sound is potently sexy. His hands are free to caress her warm wet curves, and to pour a good dollop of lube into his hands to keep sex slippery and wet.

6. Early morning sex. She knows he adores being woken up with sex because guys' testosterone levels peak at this time, so this is when they feel the most frisky.

7. Doggy-style sex. Probably the favourite male position mainly because he can take complete control of the depth and speed of thrusting. The view is highly arousing and his hands are in easy reach of all the erotic bits he loves to fondle.

8. Vertical sex. As in, standing up against a wall, in a lift, in a shower, or the office cupboard. It's a huge rush because depending on the venue it feels like a fast, illicit coupling. Usually both partners are fully or partly clothed, which ups the sexual tension.

9. Anal play. Guys love their prostate - the P-spot, the male equivalent of the G-spot - being stimulated as it gives them a uniquely whole-body orgasm. The quickest way is to massage the perineum with a finger or two, or to insert a lubricated finger in his anus and rub the front wall to stimulate the prostate through it.

10 Sex toys and stimulants. She's discovered a host of toys for guys - anal beads inserted and gently popped out just before he climaxes heighten his orgasm; penis rings make him feel bigger and harder for longer; lubricant is sublime for a hot hand job; and vibrators feel good on all his erogenous zones.

Women today are more educated and empowered in the bedroom, a far cry from the blushing brides of yesteryear. Many have realised that the key to a fulfilling marital sex life is to be armed with knowledge of sex techniques and positions, plus open communication with their spouse. And of course, both partners and the marriage stand to benefit from great sex.

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