Epiphany: the experience of a sudden and striking realisation.
Having spent 40-odd years in a newsroom environment, life has become a deadline. Ingrained. Everything is driven by “now”. Preferably “yesterday”.
Guaranteed reaction to procrastination, tardiness and not getting the job done right away include, but are not limited to, gritted or clicked teeth, cross face, irritation while still trying to be polite and a rise in blood pressure.
At home, even some “words”: this chore needs to be done, so “now” is a good time. Ambling mall or supermarket strollers used to be at risk of getting their ankles trollied (not really, but the thought poked its head up) or a death’s head stare.
Thankfully, to avoid adding to the road carnage, patience pants come in all sizes and I was able to slow it down while driving.
But this week, the epiphany.
I’m a procrastinator with a lifetime warranty.
It’s all down to two words: “for now”.
Used with “it’ll do…” or “just put it there…”, they have revealed themselves to be insidious long-term enemies.
It came to me in a powerful (pun intended) moment: over nearly 20 years, parts of my home have become the junk drawer that everyone has and the recent subject of a couch discussion.
In the last few years, life here has been evolving to having everything used regularly at waist height. If bending (or climbing ladders) is required, the kids get the call. And, of course, sometimes they’re not there, so there’s quite a demand for easy-to-reach real estate.
One of the most challenging upwardly mobile demands came from something which has become one of the most important requirements over the years - the need to have everything plugged in and charged at all times.
As summer heats up, there’s also a number of mozzie repellants and fans, all needing plugs.
This week, the couch calculated where and how things could be moved to meet the new criteria.
Then it hit: life in the electric field has never been sorted out since things were first plugged in “for now”.
Electricians and firefighters, look away now.
Miles of extension cables zigzagged behind said couch. It took a while to figure out what supported which. Long ones and short ones and five-plugs and two-plug adapters and two-pin plugs, all higgledy piggledy supporting a growing number of outlets.
It was a stunning moment. The realisation that some of these things had been set up 20 years ago “for now” and then just (another pun warning) adapted as the years went by was a shock (groan). The long cable load was reduced and redistributed as all the post-move additions were repositioned.
It led to a mental run-through of the places I have not had access to in a long time, but I know there are things in there that were packed “for now” and never moved. Either the “for now” place worked or the items fell into the same category of stuff in the junk drawer: you never know when you might need them.
Plugs aside, it’s unlikely the “for now” things will be relocated. But at least there is a newfound empathy for procrastinators. For now.
- Lindsay Slogrove is the news editor
The Independent on Saturday